LEAC

I'm awaiting word from LEAC.  I'm awaiting their command to rebel against the evil warlords of ECUSA, who have submitted to the Gay Agenda [scary operatic music here].  [update - thanks Lynn!]

They have said that eighty percent of my parish would join: the former catholics with gay relatives and friends.  The anti-gay marriage men who approve of their children being magnanimous towards gay people.  The elderly women who adored the openly - very openly - gay organist.   But they are for leaving ECUSA.

I will begin preaching about the evils of homosexuality, the apostasy of the church every Sunday.

Lets see.  This sunday we've got a reading about the restoring of the kingdom after Cyrus and the feeding of the five thousand.  Hm.  I was going to preach about how we invite people into the parish, and how we are gathering the exiles, but I think, instead, I will preach about the gay agenda.

I don't really know what it is, but I think everyone will know. 

And its bad.

Very bad.

Whatever it is.

Making people gay, or something.  They might steal another excellent word for themselves.

I know.  At the end of every sermon, I will say, yes, Jesus saves.  But not if you accept the gay agenda.

And I know that my parishioners will cheer.

They will abandon their gay friends and hang out with Christian people.   

We will encourage our lesbian family to reconsider their ... pollution.  I will ask them not to come forth to communion until they reject the gay agenda.  Of course, they've told me that they don't get political, but I don't believe them.  I'm sure they are part of it.    As well as those single men who have started to appear in church.  Hm.  Dangerous, I think.

My former Sr. Warden will have to talk to his sibling about her sinfulness. 

And I know that my social worker and psychologist parishioners will have to find christian literature to back up their claims that homosexuality is normal.

And the old ladies who think we should be open and magnanimous will have to reconsider the teachings over the last 75 years of modernist christianity.

But 80 percent of them... they'll join me.

When I explain the gay agenda to them. 

My new friends in LEAC have nice ties.  They are the sort of people I want in my church.  Clean.  Pious.  Holy.  Friendly. 

And afraid.  Deeply afraid. 

Sarah dylan writes of this organization.

Comments

[Jay]

LEAC is 18 people (current and prospective members). That's not a movement, that's a small group study!

Down the stairs to the left is the Alpha group; across the hall is Purpose Driven; and farther down the hall, next to the nursery, is the Global Effort To Eliminate The Gay Agenda From The Anglican Communion.

[Jim Naughton]

Soon every individual who objected to the consecration of Gene Robinson and to the continuation of same-sex blessings will have letterhead and a post office box.

[Lynn Gazis-Sax]

I see it's my sad duty to inform you of what the gay agenda actually is. It can be found right here: http://www.burntorangereport.com/archives/001098.html.

[IT]

Shhh, Lynn, you told them!

Lynn, that link may not work... it appears to link to the latest Fiore animation (they are ALL brilliant, btw), not the one you intended (which I remember fondly when it first appeared!). Here it is.

[Jay]

Fascinating tidbit from a commenter over at Thinking Anglicans. The LEAC web site is hosted by Virtue Online and administered by the the same webmaster, a Mr. Robert Turner.

I try to avoid "guilt by association," but my gosh this is like being photographed kissing Jack Abramoff on the lips while receiving a fat plain brown envelope from him. So much for the motives and credibility of LEAC!

[Lisa]

Wow, Jay!! That's front-page news for sure. If VOL's involved, the slime factor must be very, very high.

Jim N., that's about the funniest sad truth I've heard all month!

[Tobias S Haller BSG]

You might be interested in my comments on the "report" of the LEAC survey. I could not resist calling it "The Lay of the Land...."