A Play

I think i'm going to write a play about a priest who is always looking for volunteers.

setting: A church. People facing a preacher, who is discussing interesting ideas.

"Hey guys, we're going to have a dinner and discuss something churchy!"

Parishioners sit in silence

"It'll be fun!"

"but father, who's going to come?"

"You are!"

"Oh. Do I have to?"

"Um, no, but it would be nice."

"I'm sure other people will enjoy it."

***

"So we're going to go and say a litany for justice for some oppressed people downtown. Lets Go!" says the Father. "Any volunteers?"

Silence

"Come on, it'll be fun."

Someone pipes up. "I nominate you, Father."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you like going to those things."

"but I don't want to go alone."

"You can take the deacon. She'll keep you company."

***

Priest: "I think we should do a bible study."

"That's a great idea father!"

"I hope you'll join me."

"Oh. Well. Um. Don't you think you could do more bible study in your sermons, instead? [Pause]. No scratch that. Perhasyou could write a couple bible thingies in your newsletter. We always like it in the newsletter."

Comments

[Elliot]

Maybe you should offer cash incentives or sexual favours.

[Camassia]

Or you could try my pastor's technique of claiming people have already volunteered for things that they haven't. He got me to be a lector that way. (Of course, there's that pesky little false-witness issue...)

[Liz]

I am afraid the answer is Attila the Hunnette, the member of the congregation who shames or browbeats others into signing up and showing up. As I recall, you are not yet a father, Father. Check out the chops on the local parent-teachers' association. Ask those ladies to give you volunteer-fu lessons. Recruit one into the congregation.

[Jim Sturges Sr]

I think they call non-fiction plays something else, like documentary drama. Although in this case (and in my experience) the cast of characters is verrrry small and prone to burnout (I witness).

Of course, if the kind of "church" your crowd want is all inward-looking, maybe a sermon about how that theology operates would be instructive. Like Nathan's little story to David about the ewe lamb ....

Dangerous, but hey, look what happened to John the Baptist. Couldn't be any worse than that, right?