... has been asking me to baptize her. I've refused.
"I'm a good person" she says, which is true. I stopped dating bad people a long time ago. Rather, bad people don't like to date priests.
She's accidentally learned a lot about the Episcopal church.
So we went to the most prominent Anglo-Catholic church in Babylon - the one with 100' celings painted by the same person who painted the train station. As the servers intered, one solo cantor chanted a hymn to Mary. It was beautiful.
The rector, a friend of mine, asked me how things were going. I mentioned that my girlfriend wanted to be baptized. "November 1st, right here. We have another adult being baptized. And we'll have two bishops."
"I think that would be great," I said.
Jane's eyes widened. She laughed. "Really?" The rector affirmed it would be quite a show. But Jane wasn't so sure.
"Does it have to be in public, like, in front of everybody?" When she gets uncomfortable her eyes become really huge and she laughs. It's not a nervous laugh, but a good belly laugh, like "my I've never heard of such a silly thing" laugh.
"Has to be in public" I said. "With incense"
"They'll ring the bells?" she asked me, later.
"They might send your name to the NYTimes."
"No they won't, will they?"
"You could at least invite your friends" I said.
She laughed, unsure about this challenge. "I don't think it needs to be in public, right? I mean, what if I start laughing uncontrollably?"
"It's natural to giggle in the midst of the holy." There is such a thing as holy giggles.
John, does the heathen girlfriend know exactly what she will be asked to renounce and affirm? Has she read the baptismal covenant? She may have second thoughts.
Posted by: full body immersion | Jul 22, 2004 at 12:46 PM
Not yet. That's on the agenda.
Posted by: John Wilkins | Jul 22, 2004 at 06:43 PM
Baptism is at its essence a public ritual. When parents bring their infants to be baptized it is they who make the public gesture. When an adult chooses baptism he or she must stand up publicly, without embarrasment, and embrace the faith. Your gf doesn't sound like she understands. She sounds more curious than committed and a bit silly for all that.
Posted by: Yvette | Jul 23, 2004 at 08:43 AM
The thing that strikes me most is that it seems so early. Rather like marrying six months into a relationship... it doesn't always turn out poorly, sometimes it turns out spectacularly well, but there's no way to be sure in advance. It does speak to her respect for you that she is interested - no one converts to a faith, I imagine, unless the person or people seen as representative of that faith are deemed most worthy of admiration. I would take that as a high compliment.
Yvette, your point about baptism is a good one. When I was younger (and Catholic) I didn't understand this point and used to feel very annoyed when people would bring their screaming babies in for baptism while the rest of us had to sit through it. Once I got older and went to my first wedding as an adult, I suddenly understood the reason for public ceremony and felt rather ashamed of my youthful impatience.
(On a different note: thank you, Salty, for the recent pointer to Real Live Preacher - he, too, makes for some good reading!)
Posted by: Erin | Jul 23, 2004 at 10:47 AM
Sounds like a great chance to share the truths of the faith with her. The Baptismal rite lays it out pretty well--hard to come away without at least a basic understanding of the gospel. You are in my prayers.
Erin--I love the place in the BCP rite where the congregation is asked, "Will all of you here present do all in your power to uphold these persons in their life of faith?" (paraphrase). It speaks so well to the responsibility of everyone who is part of the body to take seriously their role to support and take part in the life of the person being baptized. Even more powerful, I think, when it is a baby or young child being baptized. Speaks to our responsibility.
Posted by: full body immersion | Jul 23, 2004 at 11:03 AM
As somebody who doesn't consider herself a Christian anymore (didn't convert to anything, just got to....no), I do miss the rituals.
I also take vows REALLY REALLY seriously. Your word IS your bond.
So I would recommend that you not go along with the baptism unless your GF has read the covenant and some commentary.
If I were designing a ceremony (in dreamland) I'd have Bishop Tutu dancing in joy and celebration.
COMPLETE CHANGE OF SUBJECT:
I commend to you some science fiction on religious themes: Sheri S. Tepper, "The Visitor" and "Six Moon Dance".
Posted by: liZ | Jul 23, 2004 at 08:02 PM