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Jun 24, 2006

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Nicholas Knisely

Thanks for the plug o' salty one. Just for the record though, my last name is Knisely (not Kinsley). Grin. Though you're closer than my driver's license was.

Heidi

Reflections upon GC 2006 from a 22 year old deputy whom I felt was thrown to the lions so to speak...I think he handled it..

"As I sat in my hotel room after the nearly two weeks worth of sesions at General Concention 2006, I listened to the familiar song, "We Can Work It Out" by the Beatles. I sat in a desk chair, smoking my last cigarette feeeling completely alone. I looked in the mirror, and my face was tired, and not one hair on my head fell the way it should. My mind was drawing a complete blank. I no longer heard the calls for a vote by order or George Warner's voice calling a motion out of order. The passionate cries from many to keep the church together were forgotten for a moment. The extreme conservative plot to divide the church systematically no longer created a burning feel of anger in my heart. The progressive agenda that sought to leave many behind no longer left me thinking "Why are they in such a hurry?" I no longer stood aghast at the parliamentary procedures that tried to kill B033. All I could do was sit in silence and relive the emotions that had cause me to become vulnerable to tears and heartbreak just hours before.

When B033 passed, my heart did not leap for joy. No one gladly checked yes or no on this resolution, or at least no one who passionately loved the church did. A smile was not to be seen in the room. Heads were rested in weary hands. Others remained motionless, staring at fixed objects somewhere far away. Some sought out the comfort of a friendly foe. Those who had laughed and hugged just recenty could not look one another in the eye. I sat and looked around the room for some kind of hope. I empathized with Robert Wesnewski when he said. " I am just trying not to throw up." I felt as if all my four limbs had been tied to four different galloping horses, only to have them stop and let go just before I broke. I was in pain, not only physically, but spiritually. Nonetheless tears of healing began to run down my face as I began to think that something I was sure was lost, the unity of the church that I have always known,was not. Angels were not singing on high exactly, but then Easter was given new meaning to me. I began to think about the day after Jesus' resurection. There was no rousing applause nor parades in the street. Some simply did not believe. Others wanted proof for what they could not see. I feel that on June 21, 2006, the Episcopal Church was reminded of what it means to be Easter people.I sensed that the same feelings that were shared by the faithful at the first Easter were similar to those feelings expressed at General Convention after this vote. Something else hapened on June 21'st that reminds me of Easter. For the first time all week, the Holy Spirit was revealed to me in a tangible way. The spirit I had seen earlier in the week was mean and selfish. Each time a glimmer of hope would come, wise words were shot down and a different agenda returned to the floor. Yes, the Holy Spirit was indeed at work, but how could some see through the deception and manipulation? In some way or another, we ALL forgot that this is God's church, and not a church of our own.
However, through all of this, people from different sides of the table became friends. The Diocese of Alabama, Chicago and California were conveniently on the same spot on the floor. I say this because Bishop Andrus of AL was elected to be Bishop opf Californis, and Bonnie Perry, a lesbian woman, was a candidate for the episcopate of California. California and Chicago voted differently on most controversial issues. At times there were debates on homosexuality and the larger communion. Rich Webster, a conservative Priest from the church in which I was raised, and Bonnie became best friends last week. They laughed and joked and they listened to one another. We listened to "He'll Fuck You Up" on Wisnewski's laptop and laughed at the innapropriatness of the song. I thought, if only the church had a better sense of humor, things could be alright. We did laugh with one as one in the body of Christ, not as liberals or conservatives divided. We loved each other, we cared for the well being of each other. We did feel deeply about the matters included in resolution B003. We cried with another knowing we simply could not agree to the same votes in efforts to avoid hurt and pain. There were times when we could not bear to even look at one another. But, at the end of the week, we understood that no matter what happens, we are given hope through the resurection Of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. No matter what happens, people will need priests to baptize, to be with those who suffer and to administer the sacraments. We will all agree, I hope, on one issue, the most important issue of all, we understand every day what Jesus is calling us to do, to love one another, regardless of opinion, gender, sexual orientation or RELIGION"

He went from to Columbus to Austin TX for another conference. I picked him up at the airport, and parked illegally - tried to sweet talk the man who was about to tow my car. I told him it was for religious reasons...He wasn't buying it, said he would not tow my car, but I needed to pay the ticket, regardless of religion. I said I guess so. I tried.

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